Fundamentally, I've always been a pretty lazy, selfish and somewhat melancholic person. I like to stare out of windows and contemplate memory while listening to depressing folk music and tuning out much of the world. But I also fear getting to the end of my life and realizing that I didn't try hard enough, so the last few years have been busy for me. I got a Master's degree, started a second, wrote a novel and started my own business. I took great pleasure in writing long 'To Do' lists and crossing off each item. These days, if I clean the bathroom or get to the post office and mail a single letter, it feels like a big accomplishment. These days, I'm learning to be with my beautiful baby boy and not get anxious if little else gets done in a day. I'm learning many things:
That tracing the outline of his nose and watching him while he sleeps is more important than finishing the laundry.
That making him laugh his so much better than keeping on top of emails and housework.
That I'm not as selfish and lazy as I always believed myself to be.
That I can be simultaneously more exhausted and happier than ever before.
So very tired. So very grateful.
On a more prosaic note, I am still making (very slow) progress on my Swan Lake dolls. Mr. L has had a promotion at work, which is great except that is has meant that for the past several weeks he has had to work weekends as well as during the week. Also, I ordered some supplies especially for these dolls that never showed up, so it looks like I'll have to order them again. And in the evenings, when the babe is finally asleep and dinner has been made and eaten and general tidying is done, it can be pretty hard to get motivated to sit and focus on the construction of very tiny things. All this is conspiring against the timely completion poor little swans!
But at least now they all have handmade paper bodices (so pretty - why didn't I do this earlier?) and most have tutus. The tutus are epic - each one took hours - but I think the effect is much nicer than just making a gathered skirt, which is what I had planned to do before I found the technique for the style seen above. I won't get to finish them this weekend, because I'm taking a top-secret workshop. But I'm hoping I'll be allowed to take photos and all will be revealed in my next post. At very least, I'll have photos of what I'm going to be learning to make...
